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umm.. can write it better later... end was not so easy one before backets

if u get support from these who wanna use you for proofing their power... make sure u getting it from people who would do it anyway+the ones who really feel for you as well... plus in the end ...any taking sides opposite of other humans in the end is madness.. unless you know its not final.. in the end we all are on so-so right good way... not opposites of an idea what we self or what we use our self to use to (dmmm basically ting to say with bigger idea in account - like there is big sides between what to choose... up to there is only 2 sides... to there is one high side only in the end... vs there is many human and group sides... and in the end people who wanna get a long and people who do imagines still competition)

I will def be better there once i get some decent headspace

I just dont use it yet

and i have plenty of support in the woods

eurgh

he doesn't like it when I correct him, does he?

you are right

thankyou hun but dont quite get the penis comment lol

u are all and more what i have been saying u before... starting and before the crack house

etc

remove from darkness.. from anyone who says no good.. does no good and does not like whn you correct them..

as what i say... is reading so slow... even thought kind of feeling u today owed nett good.. better

wish would be good support for u to more.. but.. hmm.. u i have to think thought all the extra spiritual thing... who u are.. what u do... who has put he's penis inside u .. what he's doing.. what you wanna do.. how i know what to help... ...

but naturally i would just lay down in comfortable bed and have one comfy buggy night or two... but yeah,,

in this world where am now,,. not sure how what to do,.,

it would just keep me more locked

bno its not about that, i can.. but just do not wanna

but if you feel you cant go back its ok i know the feeling

jup

but that the bottom line is you meant no harm

put just nerves can't take that.. and ego perhaps as well.. and generally feel dissapinted a bit...
not even sure more in m self or in others...
or is all that needed to keep me moovig and evolving

im sure if you told people to just leave that particular issue that you dont want to talk about it anymore

hunny everyone is crazy

I will be about on facebook next few days probably

people ... well... i did not know how to explain my self to others to make people believe what i want.. so it would be just waste to stay more with same peeps.. as can be with them as friends.. if i forget all my values and projects...

anyways I do hope you're ok

yeah I'd say go to the woods again hun

on my own right now

well.. am on streets jup

or are you on your own like you mentionned?

are you squatting still?

(as my bags ands sleeping bag is there..)

will go back to bow church aria.. walk hour to DLR.. then ... drive from there.. to end hop under steers :D

reggan street

where are you now?

good

jea,. this what i do.. every day is one montain .. :D

can do what i want .. in my mind.. almost with any of people what i have been meeting.. okey.. must cross out in to some level of all these girls who have had sex with anyone else... .. and be aware about these who has crush on someone else.. or someone has crush on them... but generally.. as humans... man and women.. all of them have enough intelligence to do this world owed take that i have been thinking out...

and that this has more value than running off everywhere just to climb every mountain

and learning something new and wonderful each time

about climbing the same mountain many many times

there is an old chinese proverb

hmmm

i think i have meet ALL the right people 10 times ower

....but still.. My mind...

I think you haven't met the right ones

ur right

jup

:D

and perhpas people

really

but you cannot begin to do without a decent space to do it

jeerum.. mans who looking things female ways have not lot of use for me

but none of them are as hard near as starting as have been dreamed to be the most nicest way

or is that not a good idea? i dont know

can see some other possibilities.. but they are not inspiring me.. enough to test them out.. as there is SO many other ways... but then have to start to choose between all of the,,,..
and then am remembering.. Rosas golden words.. Infinite Options... for doing good.. and my own realisations.. that does not mater from where to start.. keep doing.. will go and pick it up.. keep up.. any way.. so many ways to start and get going...
from satreet art to corporations to religions to.. options of hundreds perhaps

and vinnie

go there and find little charlie

even alot of the men have a very female way of looking at things

go back to the woods hun

sounds like you do need people afterall

in my mind,,, still

but still ,, can not see any way .. point of view... even to RE think what i wanna do...,., would need a women for that.. to do it whit pout women... for a while...
to do something long white out women.. or not for women.. is like try.. lifeless and .. perhaps.. useless as well

but in the meantime I am not coping, but this is not good enough lol

well only in the sense that I am working now to get it

perhaps ur right

its not useful

as this life

I'm having a problem whereby everything I want is what I don't have

why the focus on women?

but yea... what i need is a women next to my body,. and maybe some other women who can listen me.. and maybe some other one whit who to do that..what we want... and maybe some other one who can overlook and give guidance and has overview.. in kind of bookkeeping point of view

Sorry hun for not getting you

not really that

and then...?

so you were saying you feel bad for not earning money due to family pressures

explain your last message

so yeah,. and then try to explain people.. that ii... its okey... "I'm just asking.. wondering.. what if.." ..

my brain as basic works from many things from many angels

st they are right.. i should have been.. there with jun weeks after coming here...

talked with family.. they just vcan not get why i do not use my skills to make loads of money and start up all of that world repeating thingys

jep.. : ))

u still there?

talk about cognitive dissonance!!

it makes my brain hurt alot :(

whereby everything is true, but everything contradicts

I keep seeing the same thing from many many different angles

I think my brain is splitting

for me

but it was driving me mad, I need a break from it

was in the woods

staying at a friends

where ur are?

as they test different brainwave ted or ur own soul tries to break out from locks... al kind of madness in head might come bit deep depression

was not able to bear people

like strange jep.. as ended up in streets as well

how has yours been acting?

i dont know what my brain is going to do next to me

have been really really really fucking depressed myself lately

indeed

yesterday was hurting and felt to be redialed but thats normal time to time

and not sure hows my brain anyway.. waits activity and stimulation as always .. in last years..

being not serious

playing

what is jesting?

so are you jesting or are you really not sure?

hahaha

for a sunday startup line :D

thats a bit big guestion

how's your brain?

why what's wrong hun??

not sure

maybe

y'alright mate?

xxx

gl hun

ich

will be evicted monday latest

mo?

so where u stayin at the o?

yeah

good if ts good

things are going quite well, actually hehe

;)

I am back with the boy

perhaps as expected

so

haha

not worth to mention today

hey how goes life etc?

reading through your wise words again lol

lol is that u again?

xxx

ty and good night :)

will tthink on your wise words

awesome hun

soo... im off now Dear you, and thanks for listening me :)


teach me to, anytime you can, please :)

.. well.. its our mind also...
as we see... and aassume from what perspective we Always talk.. and sometimes if we not aware... we might miss these gems when we talk fro mdifferent perspective... and this is most not good one... as then .. who ever was tring other way.. will not gwet continuous confirmations about hes right doings (even thought, we still might go turn back to the right... as people who got good drugs... shroomsor or something.. realized all.directions where to go... and then.. crab acider or somthing, again from habit.. few months later...(same with telling a truths... takes time to REALLY got it in beginners, he will learn.... or progress wherever he tryes to..)
so jah, what can we do.. Humans :D )

that as well, but usually in my lingo other side is "the other side"

by other side, do you mean other side of the argume?nt

as it seems logical at first, from man point of view.. if you can use truth AND other side... its more... but no... the otherside is already perhaps excisting thanks to one.... so .. if you choose one right one... u do not even need to use absolute tools :P

everything is defence or attack with him

the Truth

yeah,thats sad.. hes missing the biggest powerr

he has to spin it to make himself look better

he isnt able to do it with truth

but only to a degree

absolutely

( am still admiering him thought, normal simple ordinary guys would not have been able to take this sircle up in situations like that.. ewven thought,,. hes intentions myght have been from different perspective.. he takes on what is needed.. not a pussy )

matt is not one of those

some people i can really listen to even when i disagree

but for some reason ive gott into that pattern with matt and it is way worse than with anyone else

yeah man you are right

(but i also think, it helped, as it was good for him also to open calmly to others... and these thwo hippies there was great addition as he can not know what side they took... but he can suspect.. :)

( as how was allowed by others to just say some of this stuff and not taking deeper interest or open sides at least, to spice things up, to learn... to educate what is alright to think , say, what is a bit childish or rude, ... )

Thank you for taking part of it as much you was able~

..and always.. in these positions... stay cal... let other paple.. .. and try .. try... try to jump between gently.. but do it finally nicely when its allowed .. (people themselves should demand it... after they get bored by other side)
or just say between, calm one liners... with intention to lissten more..

do not worry, usually its not who say more but who says more nicely, rightly.. calmly.. with out need to even blame to others as you are so sure about other intelligence,m that you assume they see what you want them to see + more (and this more is what for you willing humbely to spend ur time in this situation in first place, u high secret inner priestess )

so ty

nah i think itt really helped

but hey... beginning at least this..

(: i did excpect SO much more from other peole around the fire..

and for being there at the campfire

for looking after me, as well as your friend

ty btw

anyways hun i should let you go

and a tory twat and i mean TWAT in practice

he's a liberal in theory

yeah but there's no breaking through the programming

apart from that, nahhh

maybe just upper class society beliefs... ?

but if he was around im sure i would have a chat

that now mean i wont go out of my way to say hello to him anymore

and he has behaved in certain ways

a number of events have occured

i basically dont like him anymore

hmm

so what u think about Dunckan ?

and i met becky through a mutual friend name of justin

i met dave at uni

i like to meet people in real life

im a facebook snob lol

ooh cool , so how did you guys meet each other all ?#

yeah that's true

well, fair enought : )

u to know there is possibilty to different contact lists, with different privacy settings, etc

to the people that matter to me

becouse ?

and nah its just it try to keep my facebook numbers down

:D

wow i'll add her just for that

it really is : )

maybe is some strange beliefs that u can not add people u know before u speak in real life but, well, its ur world :P

omg shit lol

and helped her find her own inner power/confidence

U do not add her becouse u have not spoken to her... emm... see bring u a bowl to buke in when u was sick :D

he helped becky through her break up with her ex, duncan

do you mean dave hull?

sirelyn is BEAUTIFUL but i wont add her yet as i havent spoken to her yet really

u know becky know him from ?

hey, who is the David guy ? :)

as we know.. there is no secrets reeeaallly...

ahh, will keep it secret? :p

so where u stayiing or is it a secret lol?

yeah please :)

true true

will go now.. unless.. u wanna me stay for more for a while ?

im too awesome this is why u stay

:P

im off booze still

hmm.,. heeey!
u see.. u keep me here :D

i should have gone off to see Priit Parns cartoons, they are awesame

this is true

iboga is one, two times of life tripp...

(+ daily micro-dosages to keep you alert and knowledge about yourself.. perhaps if needed, as food supplement )


but yea... no worries, you are women who attracts guys as good stuff fly's if needed, just do not get drunk or they will see just simplistic you
or rather.. these people who wanna get drunk with you are perhaps not these people who are mature in needed ways, for you

:)

lets not forget ur self, are one of the most potent drugs that can be in this earth

but nahh

for a one-off

maybe

lolz

khm... change of drugs... :p

he is too exhausting to deal with in a romantic relationship

but matt has many many walls

i have my hang ups

however matt isn't developed enough for me

that is incredibly poetic and awesome

as long u realize potential possibility that you two are also playground for other powers.. is alright, to try to overcome and play in bought sides... as long u keep most important thing most important.. for reasons we do it all

am think you are so strong (and with that strong womenly softness as well) .. and he is so clever smart strong
and not afraid...
that not sure, ... no need to even suppress ur powers perhaps.. fly with these, play, play good, be aware..
and still, remember on whose playground you like to be or become

reasons

after a complete break ffrom each other

new things to learn from each other

hopefully

of friendship

nah matt and i are entering a new phase

not the first time someone's saifd that actually

thankyou hun :)

(a bit parenting, hope its alrightly recived)

but yeah... two still should make some profound things together, that can over come this strong darkish powers that have been enjoined so long

iboga .. should not recommend what is not mine but here is some links
http://www.ibogaine.desk.nl/mailinglist.htm
http://www.myeboga.org/providers.html
http://www.reset.nu/product_browse.phtml/catid_2/subid_2126/
http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/ibogaine/

i my self there member as well
always for other drugs take look at places like
http://www.erowid.org/chemicals/ibogaine/ibogaine.shtml
http://www.erowid.org/chemicals/ibogaine/ibogaine_article3.shtml
and read other people experiences:
http://www.erowid.org/experiences/subs/exp_Ibogaine.shtml

about all drugs there of-course : )

ah ok

give thsi room to her

the girl who stayd in my room

i guess you're doing well?

neways

ok?

blondy

sirelin?

yeah i dont feel comfortable there tbh

sirelin still there perhaps

ah ok

u have any of theirs number?

my self a bit around other places right now

ru still there?

:D

morgan will accept you for sure, they are calm and chill now

minus the whisky this time ;) xxx

however is it at all possible to crash a squat for a teeny bit??

but come back to the woods, you are missed :) i shall be returning sometime soon myself

lol

final final final time

i've broken it off for final time

nah we're not gonna make it lol

all good in right time

(greets to woods as well, as i suspected city hold me here.. but is alright as well)

will take look some Priit Parn cartoons :p

hope you two make it, and
get in to mega dosages on Iboga as well .. :)

besides that.. runn off right now..

hey hun :)

So your good ? : )